My best friend and I play a series of daily trivia games and share our scores with one another. I believe it started with Wordle. At some point, I found another version thats 4 Wordle boards at once (called Quordle). Then he found a “name that tune”-esque game and a movie one and a sports one. I found another music one and a couple geography ones. I remain perpetually obsessed with the New York Times Connections game.
So every day as a way of saying hello, we (I) trash talk as we send our scores back and forth. In general, my friend is much better at the music and movie ones. In general, I am much better at geography.
When I miss the movie or music ones, I’m not upset. It’s basically expected. I don’t feel anything when I lose those, but I do feel a massive sense of accomplishment on the rare occassion that I win. On the other hand, when I miss a geography game—my supposed strength—I become insufferable.
Missing a geography game makes me question what I know about myself: “I am someone who is good at geography. I am someone who likes maps. I am someone who is obsessed with the globe on her desk.”
In this example, it is, obviously, silly to equate getting mixed up on the water borders of Oceania with not knowing who I am as a person.
But how often do we let one misstep change our narrative. “I’m supposed to be _____ and I just did _____ which means I’m no longer ______.”
Sometimes, I forget a capital that I’d long committed to memory. Sometimes, I miscalculate the distance between two countries. Often, I forget how many countries border Poland. But that doesn’t define me.
Of course, it’s easy to remind ourselves of this when we’re talking about a puzzle. But I’d encourage you to try to remember this when something a little more real shakes your image.
You are still a good person, even if you make mistakes.
You are still a good parent, even if you get frustrated with your children.
You are still a good friend, even if you feel like it takes you a while to text back.
This week, we invite you to allow yourself to be surprised when you achieve something unexpected. And, we invite you to show yourself grace when you find yourself struggling with something you thought would be easy.
May your days be filled with unanticipated brilliance and gentle growth.
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